Words by Stevie Palmer, staff writer

As the 4th of February gets ever closer, people are increasingly talking about the big 2 1 and how I’m about to become a real adult, and it’s left me reflecting on my young adulthood thus far. The journeys I’ve been on, and the person I’ve become, as well as the person I’ve left behind. It’s taken me a lot to come to terms with my own evolution, leaving behind the shell of my childhood, and flourishing into the new butterfly of my ever-expanding adulthood. 

I know lots of us feel this at times, especially when making life transitions, be that going to university, going abroad or simply getting older. I wanted to share some things that I’ve learnt in the last 21 years, some as a result of my best moments, and some my worst, in the hope my words can find anyone who needs them (or anyone who is just generally interested). Peace, love and happy reading. 

1 – Nothing has to be forever. Some things in your life are supposed to be permanent, and others aren’t. As hard as it may be to come to terms with this, and accept it, the earlier you do, the easier everything will become (well for me anyway!). No amount of wishing, beating yourself up or hanging on is going to make something that was never meant to be in your life forever, stay. Once you accept the fluidity of life, the more you’ll feel yourself flowing with its rhythm. Clasping onto threads in the hope you can reignite a lost spark, is only ever going to cause you pain. What’s meant for you won’t pass you, once something is done, it’s done. See the beauty in what was, let go, and be happy. 

2- People show you their true colour … and please don’t ignore it when they do. I myself have been in one too many situations where someone has shown me who they really are, and I’d put it down to something else. I rose tinted the situation. However, after one too many repeat offences I realised that people really do show you who they are, and if you choose not to listen, you will get hurt. When someone does something that doesn’t vibe with you, try not to tint it, sit with it and think maybe this is who they are. 

3 – Sometimes it be what it is, and it is what it be

4- Find your flow. Whether that be yoga, running, drawing or rock skimming, find what allows your mind to be free and your channels to flow. Find that, hold on to that, and use it as a tool you can turn to when life inevitably gets tough. 

4- Only put your energy where it’s received. This one is pretty simple, if you’re putting energy into something, whatever it may be, and you’re not getting the same level of good every back then – control, alt, delete – it out of your life. Trust me, it makes so much of a difference to your wellbeing, when you stop letting your energy be drained by things that bring you no happiness and put that now spare energy into the things that bring you joy. 

5- Make time for you, and if you can’t do that, learn to do that; it’s one of the best things you’ll ever do. It’s the ultimate manifestation of happiness, to be so comfortable in yourself and with who you are, that you can sit and enjoy the pleasure of your own company. You’re the only person who goes through the entire journey of life with you, from start to end, so get to know yourself, be comfortable within yourself and with all the things that make you so unbelievably divine.

6- You are beautiful, in every sense of the word – and if you can’t see it, dig a little deeper and you’ll realise, it was sitting there inside you the whole time.  

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