Books Every Fresher Should Read
Arts
58 views
58 views

Books Every Fresher Should Read

Anonymous - September 19, 2018
France in Fine Fettle
Sports
70 views
70 views

France in Fine Fettle

Anonymous - September 17, 2018
Dive into Brightonian Culture
Arts
62 views
62 views

Dive into Brightonian Culture

Anonymous - September 17, 2018
Oh, baby, baby, did you see Britney at Pride?
Arts
93 views
93 views

Oh, baby, baby, did you see Britney at Pride?

Anastasia Konstantinidou - September 15, 2018
Students’ Union Apologises for ‘Sexist’ Beermats
News
40 views
40 views

Students’ Union Apologises for ‘Sexist’ Beermats

Jessica Hubbard - September 20, 2018
135 Views

Twilight Debate

For Twilight – Anton Smirnoff

Having had minimal experience with Twilight, I decided to have a rummage through the infinite number of reviews for the newest film in the series, Breaking Dawn: Part 1, to see what might be in stall for me at the midnight viewing I was attending. Every piece I came across thought it was their duty, appointed to them by some divine power, to warn the nation of the film’s shambolic dialogue, acting that makes a potted plant look like the next Meryl Streep, and the disturbing notion of, oh god, please, no, not…Mormonism!

Congratulations movie reviewers the world over, you’ve stated what everyone knew from day one. It’s awful. Of course it is. The thing is, at this point, it knows it, completely. The latest succubus in the series is one of the most cringe worthy pieces of cinema ever produced. Oh, and just so you know, I couldn’t stand the first film. Half an hour in and I was clawing my eyes out and crawling towards the door to save the remnants of my soul.

Now, I love Twilight, just because it’s so delightfully awkward. Every completely unnatural piece of dialogue, every two minute pause that has absolutely no reason to exist and an abortion ‘debate’ which devolves to a couple of vampires shouting “Baby!” “Foetus!” for a good five minutes or so is cinematic gold. Twilight has gone beyond bad and returned as the master of the car crash. The idea that people might be brainwashed by this two hour long parody is ridiculous, offensively sniping those who revel in its mediocrity as idiots. Well, if that’s the case, then at least we’re having a laugh while we’re at it.

Twilight is a bit of fun, another harmless entry into the pantheon of awful entertainment aimed at young adults, that became quickly re-appropriated by fans of schlock and those who know an utterly compelling train wreck when they see one.

 

Against Twilight – Lucy Mellamphy

The recent release of Breaking Dawn: Part 1, has seen Team Edward and Team Jacob join forces and hit the cinema in their droves, desperate for another dose of perpetual misery and despair.

Parting with 6 whole pounds, I resigned myself to 2 hours of watching Kristen Stewart angst out over which of the two hot men (who are obsessed with her to the point of needing a restraining order) to choose as her boyfriend. You’d think being engaged to Edward would make the decision a little easier, but there’s something about the way she looks at Jacob’s continually bare chest that makes you question how long the marriage would last, especially as being a vampire wipes out the option of ‘til death do us part’.

Of course if the harrowing love triangles and Bella’s persistent whinging doesn’t already have you hooked, the’ birth’ of Bella’s vampire child should be graphic and bloody enough to ensure you leave with a significant mental impression of the film. After a couple of standard nightmare sequences and scenes involving Jacob running around topless, being angry and kicking the shit out of his motorbike, Bella lands herself up the duff with Edward’s vampire spawn. The pregnancy from hell then ensues and the audience is treated with the sight of Edward ripping Bella to shreds with his fangs and bringing her back to live with his venom.

We can only hope that Bella might be a little more upbeat about things now her dream of becoming a vampire has been fulfilled…but this might be a little outlandish. Roll on Breaking Dawn Part 2!

Get the best viral stories straight into your inbox!

Don't worry, we don't spam
Books Every Fresher Should Read
Arts
58 views
58 views

Books Every Fresher Should Read

Anonymous - September 19, 2018
France in Fine Fettle
Sports
70 views
70 views

France in Fine Fettle

Anonymous - September 17, 2018
Dive into Brightonian Culture
Arts
62 views
62 views

Dive into Brightonian Culture

Anonymous - September 17, 2018
Oh, baby, baby, did you see Britney at Pride?
Arts
93 views
93 views

Oh, baby, baby, did you see Britney at Pride?

Anastasia Konstantinidou - September 15, 2018
Students’ Union Apologises for ‘Sexist’ Beermats
News
40 views
40 views

Students’ Union Apologises for ‘Sexist’ Beermats

Jessica Hubbard - September 20, 2018

Leave a Reply

Join the Badger Team

Apply today!

Latest Posts

Books Every Fresher Should Read
Arts
58 views
Arts
58 views

Books Every Fresher Should Read

Anonymous - September 19, 2018

Starting university comes with both exciting but potentially daunting changes, with both moving away from home and studying at degree level posing to be two new challenges.…

INCREDIBLES 2: The Sequel with a Feminist Twist
Film & Theatre
57 views
Film & Theatre
57 views

INCREDIBLES 2: The Sequel with a Feminist Twist

Anonymous - September 18, 2018

One key film in the development of anyone who grew up in the early 2000s was The Incredibles (2004). It’s comedy, vibrancy, and general sense of fun…

France in Fine Fettle
Sports
70 views
Sports
70 views

France in Fine Fettle

Anonymous - September 17, 2018

Prior to the start of the quadrennial tournament this summer, football fans across the world grew sceptical over Russia’s credentials and ability to host the most prestigious…

Dive into Brightonian Culture
Arts
62 views
Arts
62 views

Dive into Brightonian Culture

Anonymous - September 17, 2018

Boredom is impossible when you throw yourself into everything this weird and wonderful city has to offer. The specific and unique cultural wonders of Brighton are indeed…

Oh, baby, baby, did you see Britney at Pride?
Arts
93 views
Arts
93 views

Oh, baby, baby, did you see Britney at Pride?

Anastasia Konstantinidou - September 15, 2018

During this year’s Pride Festival, Brighton had the honour of welcoming international pop star and voice of the early 2000s, Britney Spears, to the main stage. Undoubtedly,…

Union obliterates the debate – unwritten requirement used to shut down free speech debate
Campus News
1154 views1
Campus News
1154 views1

Union obliterates the debate – unwritten requirement used to shut down free speech debate

Jordan Wright - April 27, 2018

Student society Liberate the Debate’s most recent event was cancelled over a lack of compliance with the Students' Union's (USSU) requirement for a neutral chair - a…

Students’ Union Apologises for ‘Sexist’ Beermats
News
40 views
News
40 views

Students’ Union Apologises for ‘Sexist’ Beermats

Jessica Hubbard - September 20, 2018

The University of Sussex Students' Union (USSU) has apologised after 'sexist' beermats were found in Dig-In Boxes in Freshers' Welcome Bags. The beermats were provided by Brush…

Sussex Lecturer Accused of Making Transphobic Comments Ahead of Brighton Trans Pride 2018
News
98 views1
News
98 views1

Sussex Lecturer Accused of Making Transphobic Comments Ahead of Brighton Trans Pride 2018

Jessica Hubbard - September 15, 2018

Kathleen Stock, a philosophy Lecturer at Sussex, was accused of making transphobic comments in July 2018. This followed various interviews and blog posts by Stock. Stock told…

Welcome 2018 Freshers!
Campus News
101 views
Campus News
101 views

Welcome 2018 Freshers!

Billie-Jean Johnson - September 15, 2018

Ah, Freshers. You’ve no idea the amazing year you have ahead of you! As you read this now, you’ve probably met your flatmates and maybe even met…

A conversation with Kathleen Stock on Transgender Identity
Opinion
109 views
Opinion
109 views

A conversation with Kathleen Stock on Transgender Identity

Jessica Hubbard - September 15, 2018

Kathleen Stock, a philosophy lecturer at Sussex University, met with controversy after criticising the government’s reform of the Gender Recognition Act (2004). The amendment would ‘de-medicalise’ the…

Verve Couture – Musicality, kitsch & ignition: the beginning of a series
Arts
402 views
Arts
402 views

Verve Couture – Musicality, kitsch & ignition: the beginning of a series

Ricardo Reverón Blanco - June 17, 2018

Pictured: Zac Black At Proud Cabaret audiences were spellbound as if at night at the circus, yet this was not like Angela Carter’s magical realist novel; Verve…

Fleabag on stage at The Old Market – review
Arts
404 views
Arts
404 views

Fleabag on stage at The Old Market – review

Florence Dutton - June 11, 2018

[caption id="attachment_35513" align="alignnone" width="2400"] Fleabag at Soho Theatre[/caption] Last Monday at 8pm at Brighton’s The Old Market, I sat myself down in my theatre seat eagerly awaiting…

Fleabag preview
Arts
377 views
Arts
377 views

Fleabag preview

Florence Dutton - June 2, 2018

[caption id="attachment_35513" align="alignnone" width="2400"] Fleabag at Soho Theatre[/caption] Following the mass success of the Bafta award-winning BBC Series, DryWrite and Soho Theatre are about to hit the…

Brighton Festival: Ezra Furman at the Dome
Arts
437 views
Arts
437 views

Brighton Festival: Ezra Furman at the Dome

Georgia Grace - June 1, 2018

Having completed my final semester of university with modules on punk history and queer arts, it was fitting that I rounded off my end-of-assessment celebrations by attending…

Arts
450 views

The Tempest review

Georgia Grace - May 30, 2018

As the sun begins to set over Hove Green, tinnies of Red Stripe are cracked open, tartan blankets are strewn, and families tuck into their picnic hampers.…

A Glass Half Empty review
Arts
398 views
Arts
398 views

A Glass Half Empty review

Georgia Grace - May 27, 2018

For those of us coming to the end of another year of university study, the prospect of careers, marriages and babies may seem a long way off.…

DollyWould at The Old Market review
Arts
371 views
Arts
371 views

DollyWould at The Old Market review

Alex Hutson - May 27, 2018

Sh!t Theatre’s DollyWould is a hilarious, thoughtful and experimental performance piece. The award winning show has the Sh!t Theatre duo integrating comedy, storytelling, personal experience and music.…

UCU Launch Petition to End the ‘Hostile Environment’ at Sussex
Campus News
567 views
Campus News
567 views

UCU Launch Petition to End the ‘Hostile Environment’ at Sussex

Billie-Jean Johnson - May 26, 2018

The Sussex branch of the University and College Union (UCU) has launched a petition calling for Vice-Chancellor Adam Tickell to end the 'hostile environment' at Sussex. The…

Arts
317 views

Shakespeare in the sun – The Tempest preview

Georgia Grace - May 24, 2018

In a world of dystopian King Lears and female Hamlets, Shakespeare’s classics are constantly being reimagined for the modern day. There’s something oddly refreshing then about the…

Review: Nick Cave Double Bill at The Old Market (TOM’s Film Club)
Arts
932 views
Arts
932 views

Review: Nick Cave Double Bill at The Old Market (TOM’s Film Club)

Sophie Coppenhall - May 23, 2018

What a phenomenal contrast these two films present when watched side-by-side. In essence, together they are capable of tracing inner and outer metamorphoses of their subjects. The…

Dollywould at The Old Market preview
Arts
378 views
Arts
378 views

Dollywould at The Old Market preview

Alex Hutson - May 22, 2018

From the 22nd May - 25th May 2018 DollyWould will be showing at The Old Market. An exciting new show, presented by Sh!t Theatre, who won the…