Sex is a topic that has always got tongues wagging, whether around campfires, in club smoking areas, or behind closed doors. The intrinsic intimacy of knowing that in that moment someone craves you entirely for what you are and nothing more has always sparked conversation. However, as students, one fact we can all agree upon is the prominence of casual sex and hookup culture surrounding university life and the many benefits and problems that come with it. Opinion on hookup culture is entirely non-polar, it is almost as complicated as sex itself, and one doesn’t need to be for or against it. Instead it can be seen as completely dependent on environment and varying factors, or in less scientific and nerdy terms, whether the vibes are simply there.
Campus is a terrarium brimming with hormonal teenagers who up until fairly recently have probably not been able to properly explore sexuality liberally and without someone’s parent knocking on their door, hence when they are unleashed at university is it any wonder that they want to try everything they should want? And perhaps that is where one of the first positives of hookup culture in university comes from: the opportunity to, should you wish to, experiment and push boundaries. It’s an exciting time to find what you do and do not enjoy, obviously whilst regarding respect and consent. Navigating all the urges and impulses one has is difficult at the best of times, however one might, for example, sleep with a person or two and realise they wish to engage in a monogamous yet sexually adventurous relationship. Whereas another might decide they wish to have several partners at once, all of this being viable due to sexual choice and the exploration that comes from hookup culture. Honestly, the amount one learns from experimenting with sex can be truly mind blowing, for example that men are better at using their hands during sex than they are at using their hands to send you decent replies!
Of course, as with every positive sexual experience, there is bound to be a negative, and I figure the word count I have been given will not do justice to what can transpire. To begin with, there is the pressure to have sex, even if it is not direct (and if it is most certainly tell someone you trust) but seeing your housemates escapades and having constant discussions about people’s sex lives can induce one to feel a need to have sex before they feel ready.. Please, if one thing is taken away from my ramblings, know that you should never, ever, have sex unless you are both comfortable and safe! Life after you’ve had sex for the first time is built up to be this brave new world of late night booty-calls and wild shenanigans, but the reality is so much more mundane and your wellbeing and safety is not worth jeopardising. Sex is not going anywhere, sex is here to stay!
On the other hand, whilst exploring sexual partners is a wonderful way of testing your limits and determining your preferences, when your phone doesn’t buzz or they refuse to acknowledge you in a seminar, a certain loneliness can ensue. Not everyone wants an intimate connection with a sexual partner, and it goes without saying that sex is not the only way to be intimate with a partner and establish a connection, but when there is a lack of clarity and communication in the matter people can get hurt. It is perfectly fine to want no strings attached sex, and it is equally fine to have several partners in order to find the one that is just right, but perhaps having a conversation with your sexual partner(s) about how you both feel could be the difference between leaving things on good terms and the slump that follows radio silence.
Regardless of your stance on casual sex, or sex in general, one fact still remains, chiselled on the Rosetta Stone, etched into the Dead Sea Scroll, and probably the Bayeux Tapestry; your relationship with sex does not reflect your worth under any circumstance! Your body is something that stays with you from your first day on earth until your last, treat it, but also protect it, and as physical as sex is, the effect it has on your mentality can be just as detrimental. Whether you have sex lots or not at all, remember sex will never be as interesting as you!
