If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what does that make eight? While this may seem like a rejected GCSE Maths problem, in actuality it’s a question reserved for a couple of years later in life. Namely, the first year of university. Although living in halls with seven fellow students can be an enriching experience in which lifelong friendships are made, it can also make you want to take advantage of the continuing building work on campus and crawl into the nearest hole. Navigating living with strangers can seem impossible, but rest assured that it does get easier.
That is, assuming you can actually rest, as noise complaints are common when living with a number of housemates. Most adults who flat-share can relate to the pain of having a housemate whose terrible music blares through the walls at all hours of the night, yet for freshers living in halls, this is often coupled with the ear-piercing screech of the fire alarm after Barney decides to make toast at three in the morning for the fifth day running. And while these grievances are hard to deal with, bringing them up to those responsible can be even harder. For introverts, whose only experience of university celebrations involves throwing a pity party in their room, approaching a housemate with a gripe is often more difficult than their degree. This can be particularly challenging for those who took a gap year or two before attending university, as bringing up the fact that you need your eight hours every night will undoubtedly make you seem even more like a Karen (and not the hot Mean Girls kind) amongst the carefree 18-year-olds.
For some, however, complaining seems as easy as living alone. The Student Room, a popular forum for school and university students, features a number of posts from concerned first-years who fear that just breathing too loudly will cause a housemate to come knocking on their bedroom door. I too used to be so scared that my mere existence would cause annoyance that I would creep around my Northfield flat so quietly that I could have easily been mistaken for a spirit. Which Barney would have probably drank with tonic to wash down his nightly toast. Speaking of ghosts, it is even harder to live with someone whose actions, such as completely ignoring a friend or partner, are morally questionable. Back in 2018, I lived with five students on campus, one of whom was ironically studying psychology and had recently broken up with his girlfriend because she’d “gained weight”. The fact that he could very well now be a therapist terrifies me to my core.
Fortunately, there are some ways of making living with insufferable housemates just about bearable. Firstly, try to ensure your interactions are of good quality. When parents and teachers would pipe up with, “join a club to make new friends!” I don’t think they were envisaging a night at Coalition. However, joining a society is a great way to meet people whose interests align with your own. If stealing a traffic cone and putting down women in the name of banter isn’t for you, no worries! Why not try writing for The Badger instead? And try not to rely on social media. Even the most genuine and interesting person can come across as insufferable on Instagram, especially if you decide to do some investigative journalism and find their posts from a decade ago. This can make you want to cancel not only your housemate, but your student loan, as you may subsequently decide to remain in the town you grew up in.
It is important to remember that this period won’t last forever. In the remaining years of your degree, you’ll get to choose who you share your home and your time with. And if you’re currently reading this article afraid that the crackling of the pages will bring about a noise complaint, you’re not alone. Metaphorically, that is.
