The American Election:

Last Tuesday saw the re-election of the incumbent President of the United States, Barack Obama. Despite gaining 100 more electoral college votes than his competitor Mitt Romney, some people just weren’t satisfied with this years results. Donald Trump, an avid Romney supporter, was particularly vocal in his displeasure at a Democrat win. Here are the highlights from his tirade of tweets:

“This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy.”

“More votes equals a loss… Revolution!”

“The phoney electoral college made a laughing stock out of our nation. The loser won!”

“We should march on Washington and stop this travesty.”

“We should have a revolution in this country”.

Election Night in 60 Seconds

Most of campus crammed into East Slope to watch the results. With drinks being poured by the  gallon, cheers and boos were ample. As the key Romney strongholds came in, momentum lapsed as Kentucky, Indiana and South Carolina went red.

However, as the BBC’s holographic electro-cyberworld painted the town red, states worth more votes started to swing in Obama’s favour. Indications emerged that Florida was leaning left, followed by the Democrat gains of New Hampshire, New York and New Jersey.

With Florida still not anounced, the precincts counted crept up by a percentage point at a time, leaving everyone waiting for the anouncement of who the 27 votes would go to.

In the end Ohio was the decider and landed Obama on 274 – putting him past the threshold for office and ensuring that there would indeed be “four more years”.

Closer To Home

An MP has confirmed her decision to ditch our green and pleasant land for the Australian jungle and a reality TV show.
Nadine Dorries, MP for Mid-Bedfordshire has signed up to ITV’s I’m A Celebrity in a bid to promote her beliefs, and to use the television show as a platform to showcase her suggestion that the time limit on getting an abortion should be lowered.

Whilst some question just how much ITV’s audience will really be interested in what Nadine has to say or whether or not MPs should be allowed to jet off to Australia just after the summer holidays, Dorries has already confirmed her attendance.

‘Recreational Weed’ legalised in the states

Marijuana has been legalised in two states the day after the American election: Colarado and Washington (both Democrat). The drug is now legal to both possess and sell for recreational use. In a recent survey, 75% of respondents admitted to having smoked the drug at least once before.

Mason Tvert, co-director of the Colorado pro-legalisation campaign:

“Colorado will no longer have laws that steer people toward using alcohol, and adults will be free to use marijuana instead if that is what they prefer. And we will be better off as a society because of it.”

Satirical Tweets From The Week

““Hey guys, maybe Donald Trump is right!” said Nobody, ever.”

“Oh no, Guy Fawkes is trending. I hope he hasn’t died.”

“Amazing that @RupertMurdoch still has appetite for buying newspapers.” @iankatz1000

“A review of Orion’s Belt: ***”

“Imagine you are in serious debt; you sell off one of your assets. Do you 1) Pay off your debts or 2) Go on a spending spree aka Ed Balls”

“Summary of 2012: -Stop Kony -Call Me Maybe -Olympics -Gangnam Style -Hurricane Sandy -Presidential Election”

Hurrah for us! We’ve dragged Broken Britain out of a double dip recession we said wouldn’t occur. Seb is now planning the London 2013 Games.


Bree Allegretti

Categories: News

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