When dating and friendships compete on social media, is having a boyfriend now an ‘embarrassing’ public statement?
According to Vogue UK, having a boyfriend is now officially embarrassing. This is tough news for boyfriends across the UK, and even tougher news for anyone who accidentally caught feelings in 2025. Of course, this revelation flooded the internet conversation. Women took to social media platforms such as TikTok to share their opinions; one user even commented, “Having a boyfriend is embarrassing unless he’s absolutely obsessed with you”. This leaves us with one burning question: why has having a romantic attachment suddenly become uncool? Of course, it could just be an attempt at edgy social commentary intended to poke fun, but it’s the kind of joke that uncomfortably describes how we live online.
Arguably, you could say we’ve traded authentic relationships for digital performances. The ‘soft launch’, the ‘hard launch’, or the carefully curated couples selfie resembles a gossip magazine press release – especially the soft launch, which has now become somewhat of a ritual on Instagram. While everyone pretends not to recognise the owner of the exact arm in a carefully planned dinner photo or the implications behind it, we all know exactly what message is being conveyed. Apparently, there are also rules we’re expected to follow. One arm is ‘mysterious’; however, I’m told to showcase two will scream situationship. And it’s not just for influencers; many of us worry about how our partners will fit into our carefully curated grid.
The pursuit of the elusive ‘It Girl’ mindset reinforces this. The epitome of ‘cool’ now involves being unattached and happily unavailable. It’s simply impossible to post a good thirst trap when your boyfriend is in the background holding your handbag.
And honestly, there is a feminist element. It represents the shift towards independence and the freedom to no longer lose oneself in relationships. It’s a realisation that men are no longer essential for survival; society has changed, and a single woman is no longer burdened with the label “spinster”. Being single is no longer a humiliation; instead, it’s a chic aesthetic and an opportunity.
But don’t you find it amusing that we’ve simply shifted from showing romantic relationships to expressing self-love? It can be fun and empowering until you realise you’re still performing for an audience… just, solo.
My argument is that there is a much wider angle of social media to be analysed, far beyond women in romantic relationships. The shift isn’t necessarily about avoiding relationships, but about the oppressive pressure to fabricate a polished persona online. The game is straightforward: Who is the happiest? Who has the most freedom? Who works the least? And who is the wealthiest?
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We don’t want to seem like we’re trying, even though we definitely are. Does effortlessly achieving your dream lifestyle leave a more lasting impression on others? Is idealisation what we actually desire?
Amongst the millions of posts and likes, connection has turned into competition. Social media promised us hyperconnectivity but has delivered individual isolation, especially for younger users. Being fed a constant stream of unattainable and unrealistic aspirations has weakened our real-world bonds and made friendships, least of all relationships, sour. We should strive to reclaim our privacy and aim for genuine relationships, if for nothing else but our own sense of reality.
So yes, the now infamous Vogue article is both cutting and witty at the same time. But we can laugh at the memes because there is an element of truth. We just don’t voice it, judging the risk of being sincere online to be too great. Maybe the message was never really about boyfriends, but about how our world has become one big, public performance where we all compete for attention from anyone and everyone who will listen.
If you’ve got a partner, congratulations! Just try to avoid the traditional soft-launch of them to your 100 close friends; we all know what a strategically placed arm means by now. And for those who continue to behave as if your private life is on display, don’t be surprised if the audience stops bringing in rave reviews – not everyone can be the next Scorsese.
