Days before the assassination of Charlie Kirk, American media outlet Jezebel released an article titled, ‘We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk’.The article went on to explode online, before subsequently being taken down. Internet users and conspiracy theorists have since run rampant, and some are astonished at the so-called ‘true capabilities’ of such craft-based witchcraft. Since the shooting, the search for the term ‘Etsy Witch’ has increased by over 600%, with reports of people hiring ‘etsy witches’ to manifest anything from a new job to a new love life – maybe even a curse or two.
Even earlier this year, TikTok influencer Becca Bloom went viral after posting her stunning wedding photos. She revealed in a subsequent video that because of the bad weather forecast, she had hired two Etsy witches to ‘control’ the weather. I’m not one to believe in magic, but the less-than-desirable weather forecasts did end up working in her favour. Her hair gently blew in the wind as the sun shone light on her face, while more people took this as proof that indeed, online manifestations and spells could work. Whilst the ubiquitous Etsy witches did not stop the wind from making an appearance, they definitely didn’t let the weather ruin Becca’s special day.
Yet another post on TikTok blew up after a woman claimed an Etsy witch was the solution to her long-term unemployment. Calling it the ‘best $5 I’ve ever spent’. Her video detailed the process, from the initial contact to the final results. The comment section itself was filled with people with similar experiences, proving that while the authenticity of the work is still dubious, it is a testament to what people will believe when desperate enough. Whether it’s getting a million-dollar deal or acceptance to a dream school, the internet is turning to a higher plane of existence for a helping hand.
This current internet craze stems perhaps from the movement towards spirituality instead of traditional religions, especially among young people. For years, internet users have turned to manifestation – the practice of using your thoughts to control your reality, which has a growing presence of people online who subscribe to the philosophy. TikTok user @embarrazinggg awards manifestation as the reason they received admission into the University of Edinburgh, disregarding the work, time and thought that went into the very real, very physical application. The video showed a laptop screen with phrases like “I will get into Edinburgh” and “the universe is giving me positive energy” typed out multiple times. Repeating the same phrases is a common manifestation technique, thought to ‘saturate the mind’ with the desired results. By simply thinking about it, it can (allegedly) come to be.
Unlike witchcraft, manifestation is arguably not new to students, who are already familiar with the technique to ‘achieve’ their desired grades. Internet user @theblessedwoman_x claimed that they manifested their university results, their post reading, ‘’When I got a paper back that wasn’t what I wanted, I didn’t care, I stayed persistent and focused on the end. Every time the thought came up about my grades, l’d immediately assume that I got the exact grade I wanted”. Clearly, studying has been out of fashion for a while, and not just on Etsy. With the rise of students using ChatGPT and other AI to literally learn for them, it isn’t hard to see why those same students are turning spiritual, instead of turning in their essays. As a student myself, I have to wonder why my peers haven’t started using witchcraft to manifest their uni grades sooner. As chronically online as I am, I have seemed to be the only one to come across this new exam strategy. Who knows? It could be quite successful given the already proven track record, temperamental weather forecasts, and politics aside. Maybe with the wedding day success of Becca Bloom and the inadvertently prophetic Jezebel media company, witchcraft may become the next technique for students looking to score the top marks, without the effort.
Photograph by Fiona Muncaster.
